Apartment hunting. Makes me want to vomit all. Over hardwood floors.
• Your energy drink. Breath is ruining my nice. Internet time, douche.
• Do not interrupt. My viewing of Breaking Bad. I’ll set you ablaze
• When the train pulls up. Wait for people to exit. Before you enter.
• Something is wrong with. Lana Del Rey’s
face. It’s a. Math equation unsolved
• Dear Greenpeace worker. You throw your cigarette down. You’re hippocratic.
• Why don’t Jell-O shots. Get me as drunk as I want. They’re damn delicious
• People on airplanes. Contain your screaming children. Before I take charge.
• Thank you for wearing. That “YOLO” T-Shirt, it keeps. Me away from you.
• Pants. I do not like them. They are itchy and suck ass. Pantless til I die.
• Who the fuck doesn’t. Enjoy Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Get your shit in line.
• This train is empty. Why do you sit by me, sir? Please go away now.
• Kim Kardashian. Pro-created with Kanye. The end is nearing.
• If there is one place. You should never stop walking. It is a staircase.
• Why did you vibrate?. I didn’t get a message. Phantom
vibration.
• Online Job Applications: Why must I fill out. What is on my Resume? Low-Tech piece of shit.
• Forgive me Netflix: You want my business? The King Of The Hill series. Should not be removed.
• When I see things with. “batteries not included”
I don’t understand.
• Wet, wet bathroom rug. Do you even use a towel? I don’t understand.
• Ninety-Five degrees. Outside, its mid september. Screw you, weatherman.
• Project makes no sense. And they want it yesterday. This fucking client.
Uncle Hysteria 